Stop Walking on Eggshells
Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
By Randi Kreger, Paul T. Mason, MS
Book Description
Your therapist probably recommended this book - many do. This is a popular, easy to read, self-help guide for family members and about family members. It is designed to help you understand how the disorder affects you and what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of yourself.
The book looks at the complex emotions family members go through.
The Confusion Stage. This generally occurs before a diagnosis of BPD is known. Family members struggle to understand why borderlines sometimes behave in ways that seem to make no sense. They look for solutions that seem elusive, blame themselves, or resign themselves to living in chaos. Even after learning about BPD, it can take Family members weeks or months to really comprehend on an intellectual level how the borderline person (BP) is personally affected by this complex disorder. It can take even longer to absorb the information on an emotional level.
Outer-Directed Stage. In this stage, Family members typically turn their attention toward the person with the disorder, urging them to seek professional help, attemping to get them to change, and trying their best not to trigger problematic behavior. People at this stage usually learn all they can about BPD in an effort to understand and empathize with the person they care about. These leads to the acceptance that the BP does think and react as the Family members expect or would like them to.
Inner-Directed Stage. Eventually, Family members look inward and conduct an honest apparaisal of themselves. It takes two people to have a relationship, and it is important for Family members to better understand their role in making the relationship what it now is and what it can be. The objective here is not self-recrimination, but insight and self-discovery.
Decision-Making Stage. Armed with knowledge and insight, Family members struggle to make decisions about the relationship.
Resolution Phase. In this final stage, Family members implement their decisions and commit them.
About the Author
Paul T. Mason is a program manager of Child/Adolescent Services and a psychotherapist with Psychiatric Services for St. Luke's Hospital in Racine, Wisconsin. His research on borderline personality disorder (BPD) has appeared in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, and he teaches seminars for mental health professional on the effects of BPD on partners and family members.
Randi Kreger is a professional writer and president of Kreger Marketing Group. Frustrated with lack of information about BPD and families, she initiated an internet discussions a group and a site on the web for people who care about someone with borderline personality disorder.
# Paperback: 240 pages
# Publisher: New Harbinger Publications (July 1998)
# Language: English
# ISBN-10: 157224108X
# ISBN-13: 978-1572241084
# ~$12 US
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