In a BPD relationship, the healthy person must become the emotional caretaker. Given the underdeveloped emotional makeup of a person affected by BPD, it is important to stay "above it", not be abused by it. As such, one cannot be solely dependent on a parent, partner, or child affected with BPD for their own emotional release. Anyone involved with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder needs a very strong support network.
Urgent Needs - Domestic Abuse, Suicidal Ideation Starting with the most urgent of needs - are you feeling really down? All suicidal ideation should be taken seriously. Many people in BP relationships are depressed at one time or another. Suicidal ideation is not uncommon in clinical depression. The Journal of the American Medical Association has reported that 95% of all suicides occur at the peak of a depressive episode. Getting help early is important - depression is often a chemical imbalance and it responds well to pharmaceutical treatment. If you have any suspicions about yourself, you should talk to someone right now - free of charge.
Lookup Your Local Hot line Numbers (enter area code, or state, or and state/county)
Often there is a progression over time from harmless ideations all the way to the act. The earlier you intercept this progression, the more likely harm can be averted. Local telephone counselors are great - they can do everything from just answering simple questions to being a friend, to suggesting places to go for immediate / low cost assistance, to dispatching emergency assistance in the rare event that it is needed. If you are trying to help someone who is depressed, talk openly about the subject (tips on what to say) and gently guide them to "live local help" in a calm and non threatening way.
24 Hour On-Line Message Board Help There are many Internet resources - the largest for those with a Borderline loved one with Borderline Personality is bpdfamily.com. The group is a co-op, run by community leaders. It is endorsed by many, has been operating for more than 10 years and has over 30,000 members and alumni. Different types of support are available - from raising children with BPD, to improving a marriage, to dealing with breakups, to recovering from a BPD parent. This is an active group - typically you will receive responses to your questions within an hour. There is no membership fee.
Another excellent resource is Needing Understanding and Tenderness (NUTS) for parents with a child with Borderline Personality Disorder. This 12 year old group is operated by a dedicated and experienced mother who has made great strides in her own family and has helped many others suffering over broken dreams and lives of turmoil with a Borderline personality disordered child. There is a small monthly membership fee.
E-mail Support Group There are many e-mail resources - the oldest of these is bpdcentral.com These communities are operated by Randi Kreger, author of "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and the “The Essential Family Guide to BPD". Ms. Kreger is not personally active in these groups on a day to day basis, but the groups often discuss principles outlined in her books. There is no membership fee.
Live Support Groups The most sophisticated live support group is the Family Connections Program Family Connections Program is a 12-week research-based, manualized family program operated by the NEA-BPD. The course is conducted in several major metropolitan areas. Family Connections was specifically designed to meet the needs of family members who have a relative with borderline personality disorder (BPD), or symptoms of the disorder. The program seeks to provide the most current information and research on BPD, to teach coping skills based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and to provide direction on how to develop a support network. The groups are led by trained leaders who are themselves family members. There is a $50 materials charge.
Directory of Professionals: Very few mental health professional are trained and experienced with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a relatively new disorder that is just now beginning to become part of routine curriculums. As such, many practicing Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, counselors, attorneys, mediators, and arbitrators were not trained in this field. Our list is supplied as a convenience. It is recommended that any one seeking professional help check with local medical school or mental health facilities for recommendations specific to this disorder.
Look up a professional in your area (enter area code, or state, or and state/county)
Treatments Centers: We have a list of the leading treatment centers for family members that are suffering from the affects of being in BPD relationship. These in-house programs can help you if you are seriously suffering and having a hard time coping. These programs vary from 4-6 week on campus programs, to regional workshops and seminar (see list in right margin).
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Therapist Websites
(General List)
(BPD Specialist List)
Relationship Treatment Centers for the Family Members
(The Meadows)
(Life Healing)
(Sante Center)
(Sierra Tucson )
(Del Amo)
(Keystone Center)
(Copac)
(Sexual Recovery Institute )
Domestic Abuse Agencies
(US local agencies)
(WW local agencies)
On-Line Support Groups
(For individuals with BPD)
(For family/ friends /partners) |
