September 22, 2016

Shari Schreiber's Gettinbetter

Shari Schreiber is a phone coach ($250 an hour) for men who have had a failed relationship with a women suspected of having Borderline personality disorder. Her business was started in 2006.

She says that her work is to help men dismantle and eliminate long-standing, dysfunctional, "people pleaser" traits and she says that she demands this from her customers from day one. "The things you've always habitually said, like "how are you?" or "have a nice weekend," have no place with me. They waste Your precious resources, and My time."

Ms. Schreiber describes her methods as extremely unconventional. There are controversies reported on the web regarding her credentials, the content of her articles, how she treats her customers, and her public battles with others. An expertise comment from her website:

"I have worked with a variety of clients who've had multiple diagnoses. They struggled with Bipolar Disorder, ADD/ADHD and Borderline Disorder features. Two out of three co-existing disorders is not uncommon, and our treatment options must be comprehensive enough, to address BPD issues on a number of different fronts; not just behavioral, not just neuro-chemical, and not just in reference to long-held core trauma that's psychic/emotional. In essence, a three-pronged approach must be implemented, to facilitate BPD recovery. Sorry, but I do not accept medical insurance."

Her practice was closed in October 2017.


  1. Thanks for listening and putting this up. I’m outraged by my bad experience with this “therapist”. She runs an unlicensed online therapy practice that would have been shut down by regulators long ago if there were not jurisdictional complications. She inflames feelings of victimization in men who have been deeply wounded in a relationship breakup as a way to sell her service. There are many Internet reports of her being angry, quick to judge, controlling, and an emotional bully. Her articles are crude and immature.

    She charges $140 - $160 an hour for her clinical "treatments". She will split words and say it's something else, but her the "psychology-speak" in her articles make it clear what she is doing.

    She claims to be a world expert on BPD and a consultant to psychiatrists with 20-30 years of experience in treating BPD clients. Since my involvement, I have found documents circulating on the Internet that tell a different story. She had a cosmetology license for 15 years. In 1996 she became a licensed psychology intern but had her license cancelled. She didn't complete her internship (supervised practical experience) and she didn't pass her boards. In 2007 she opened a website to help people stop smoking and lose weight and then, suddenly, became an expert clinician on personality disorders with 20-30 years experience.

    Buyer beware.

  2. Providing rogue "after the break-up" mental health services can be a very profitable home based business. Many of these rogues take advantage of emotionally depleted people in moments of extreme despair as they search for quick answers. This is one of the most predatory.

    Why does she flourish? Because she is highly accessible (you can read her website, receive services online), she is passionate (unfortunately wrong and unhealthy), and three minutes into the first "session" you have your answer (she uses phycology-speak to say, far more convincingly than your mom, you didn't deserve to have your heart broken).

    Here your emotional wounds can be neatly blamed on our partner with absolute certainty (e.g., they’re psychopaths, sociopaths, mentally ill), you can be validated, redeemed, vindicated as the healthy one (rather than the rejected defective one that you feel like), while the rogue counselor bills your credit card (in advance of the session).

    There is no need to analyze anything - the answer is always the same for every customer. With Shari Schreiber, your ex is terminally ill (almost criminal), your family created attachment issues for you, and you are now a weak people pleaser with "mommy" issues.

  3. You contradict yourself completely by the end of your angry and defamatory response.
    Blame is not an issue once a relationship is over and you are left devalued and isolated. It is only an issue for toddlers and immature self-consumed people who are too weak to accept the responsibility of their choices in life. I have never spoken with Shari, but I have read her articles, and it is pretty clear that she focuses on not letting you BLAME your ex, but realizing that you chose to be there and the likely reason you chose that is within yourself.
    Anyone who has any experience with addiction knows that they need to get through to the addicts so they can start teaching them they are worth more than the substance they have chosen has to offer them and the only way to do that is by making sure they stay off and away from the substance while they heal.
    Same thing goes for those who need to heal from the addiction of a toxic and abusive relationship. The abuser is rarely diagnosed with anything, likely is in denial of any problems, and more often than not, the victim has no clue with the 'what' or 'why' they had been dealing with.
    The advice I read was not to harm or help those with BPD/NPD/xPD, and that can be hard for those kind of people to understand so let me repeat it:
    So, have some empathy and understanding for other people in the world and calm down.

    1. I assume the above note was written by Shari Schreiber. It is her writing style and use of inline capital letters/emphasis. The long unrelated reference to addictions is consistent with her other website about addiction recovery. And, on the same day, she posted a longer version of the same message here:

      Besides, a typical reader would not have a background in addiction, nor would they have such a passionate reaction to a run-of-the-mill site critique.

      I paid for one consult. I did not find you to be well informed, especially your assertions that BPD not a mental illness or incapacity, that it is never caused by a genetic or biological abnormality, and it cannot be inherited. This is very different opinion than those at NEA-BPD and NAMI and my exwife's psychiatrist.

      I do have compassion for you.

  4. I looked at the video. It's concerning that this person is advising people in emotional trauma.

  5. Shari Schrieber's practice has been shut down by the state regulators for cause. I don't think it was a scam, per se', as some have suggested, I think she believes in what she says and it reflects her own mental disabilities and her inability to cope. Her video's give you insight into a women who pounds on her bed with baseball bats, and even breaks them, to deal with emotional pain. I hope she has family to help here through this difficult time.