July 12, 2016


BPDFamily.com is education site and an online support group for the family members of individuals suffering from Borderline personality disorder and other personality and impulse disorders. The site was started in 1998 and is listed by Alexa/Yahoo as the most popular website, worldwide, for personality disorders and for Borderline personality disorder. This is an HonCode certified website.

Site lessons and coaching are largely derived from publications written by Shari Manning PhD, Margalis Fjelstad PhD, Robert O. Friedel MD, and the NEA-BPD Family Connections Program. Both CBT and DBT tools are taught/discussed by members.

The organization has a platform of clinically based materials and tools and administrators and senior members encourage balance and self-awareness. This is a very active group - members participate 24/7. There are a lot of deep discussions on this site. 

Wikipedia reports this group to be one of the first "cyber" support groups to be recognized by the medical establishment and receive professional referrals. The National Health Service (England) currently refers their clientele and readers to BPDFamily.com as does the NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness, NEA-BPD: National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, PDAN: Personality Disorders Awareness Network, and Kaiser Permanente Health Information Resources. The groups services and programs are recommended in Abnormal and Clinical Psychology: An Introductory Textbook (ISBN:9780335237463), Resources to Improve Emotional Health and Strengthen Relationships (ISBN: 0199915156), I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality (ISBN:9781491575734), The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder (ISBN:978-1592853632), and Stop Walking on Eggshells (ISBN:781572246904).

The groups offerings include:
  • a list of therapists by city (partnering with Psychology Today)

There are a lot of hurt and raw emotions expressed by newer members and it can, at times, be hostile to people with BPD as members work through the early stages of healing. This a site for family members only.


  1. I want to express my sincere gratitude to the people who run this site and especially lbjnltx. Having a child with this disorder is challenging and it has helped me to talk to others. I went to an NEABPD skills training seminar last year and I visit BPDFamily when I am struggling with a family issue and need others to calm me down and remind me of my skills. My daughter, my husband, and I appreciate both of these organizations. We're all in this together.

    1. I owe my sanity to this site! My last relationship was a beating! This is a really great group of people. The moderators do a good job with the reference material, too. This is not your typical bitching site and members don't scrap with each either. People are there to work together, heal their wounds and advance their emotional maturity. Best resource by far.

  2. This will be very brief as much can be learned on the "Improving a relationship" section of this site.

    My brief summary is that I came to this community in a very bad situation. Worse than most from what I read. My BPD wife was in a downward spiral which included police charges, many attempts at suicide and obviously many institutional stays. I was following her around like a puppy trying to help in all the wrong ways. I was very supportive and helpful when I should have worried about my 3 kids and I , and let her figure things out alone. My feeling is that me ''helping'' her was really ''helping '' me and hurting her.

    I played this game and danced away for 2 years prior to joining BPDFamily all the while actually making things worse.

    My healing came when I looked at me , not at BPD - which I became a world expert on.I went to therappy wondering why I would put up with this abuse,a fake DV charge and watching my kids suffer, and watching me basically die within while I tried to "help" her. Therpay helped me regain my strength.

    She took the therapy choice which was very extensive live out of the home 16 week kind of therpapy which was dbt and cbt. No drugs whatsoever.

    Today, my family is strong and happy. My wife has done exceptionally well. We have moments but they never escalate which was our problem before.

    If my story is a success then so can others perhaps.

  3. Do you have a link to the therapist recommendations?